A manager recently asked me, “When should I speak during my team meetings?”
She had come across Simon Sinek’s advice that, “Great leaders speak last.” (If you’re not familiar with him, Sinek is a motivational speaker.) She had also read a recent article by a leadership coach who recommends taking three poker chips into the meeting – each time you speak, you use a chip. Hence: you can only speak three times.
The manager wanted to know if she should follow the advice of these experts.
My answer?
No. Forget the gimmicks. Instead:
🗣 Speak when you need to.
But when do you need to? Ah, now that’s a far more interesting question. You’ll have to figure that one out over time (hint: the answer is acquired by trial and error). If you tend to speak too much* then start asking yourself, “Do I really need to say something, right now?” before diving in.
* Not sure if you’re a chatterbox? Ask your team.
Some other speaking-related tips to help you lead more effectively:
👂 Listen More: We’ve all heard the saying – one mouth, two ears. If you’re the talkative type, try stepping back. Don’t just give others a chance to have their say; deliberately encourage them to do so.
💬 Clarify, Don’t Dominate: Use your voice to guide the conversation, not control it. Ask clarifying questions that encourage genuine discussion. Invite diverse views and welcome debate.
🛑 Step In When the Team is Stuck: If the conversation stalls or becomes unproductive, that’s your cue to step in with suggestions or a new direction. Your talking platform has arrived; get things moving again.
I understand what Sinek and the other coach are trying to do. As a manager, your instinct might be to lead every conversation. And yes, sometimes there is value in holding back. But waiting until the very end, as Sinek advises, can feel inauthentic – you risk becoming a pompous actor delivering some grand finale.
And the poker chips? Sure, it makes for a fun analogy, but what if you need to speak more than three times? What if something important comes up? Then you’re out of chips, and the meeting suffers. Good leadership isn’t that rigid.
So, is less more (when it comes to speaking, as a manager)? Sometimes. But sometimes, less is not enough. A simpler approach: speak when you need to, and let your team own the discussion.
Poker chips? Save them for the casino. And when I’m there? Trust me, I’m all in.
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📞 Need help improving your leadership approach? Get in touch – we are here to help.
